Tuesday, April 14, 2009

50 & Fabulous

I am sure it is not this way for my parents, but I feel as though they age slowly, not that I want them to age quickly, but over this past week they will both turn 50. Yes, that is all, 50. They may think that they are old, but Oprah says that 50 is the new 30. I feel like she says that every time she reaches a new decade. She acts like she is embracing this new found age, like no one else has ever turned 60 the way she will turn 60. When in reality she is grasping at ways to make this new age, hip. When she is about to reach this new milestone her shows will evolve around women who do not look their age, some new fangled exercise that will make you do a back bend like a 15 year old, a new hair-do, she will dance on stage with Tina Turner again, or Dr. Oz will come on and tell her just how long she is going to live, which last time I tuned in was like 120. I mean and let's just face it, Oprah is the Dali Lama to many women. Sometimes I even find myself saying things that Oprah has said, and one of my greatest wishes is to be in the audience when Oprah is listing off her Favorite Things, admit it, you would too. And you know as well as I do, Barack Obama owes a lot to Oprah. An example would be that if Oprah said that the best ice cream in the world is Rocky Road, I guarantee the sales of Rocky Road would sky rocket, that's all I am going to say about that.

So with all that in mind, and according to Oprah, 50, is nothing, your life it just beginning. I suppose this is how it has been my entire life, most of my peers had parents that were much older than mine. I am the oldest child, and was born when my parents were 19. So when I turn 50, my parents will only be turning 70. In many cases, I feel like I am aging faster than them, like at some point, I may just pass them.

My parents also have birthdays 4 days apart, and for as long as I can remember we always celebrated their birthdays together. And so when I was little, I thought that once you were married your birthday became a shared day, and I remember thinking, I am never getting married, who would want to share a birthday? No other singular married person's birthday registered to me, but my parents at that point. Soon it began to become a little clearer to me, but I still thought, no way would I marry someone who had a birthday close to mine. Birthdays have and always will have some magical, self-centered ideal to them to me. I mean ask Andy, an entire week is set aside to let the birthday person reign over the house, so how can that possibly happen if you have a birthday so close to someone else's you live with? Same with having your birthday so close to Christmas, those unfortunate people, you always get the shaft. My poor parents. For this reason I married Andy, his birthday is in March. Ok, so it wasn't one of the top reasons, you got me, but definitely in the Top 5...ok, but it was a perk.

My sisters and I had a dinner on Saturday night for our immediate family, and then we had a dessert and wine party for extended family after that, all to celebrate our Mom and Dad's birthdays. I did all of this while having a stomach bug, so I can just about guarantee that some of our lucky guests will have gone home with that party favor. Andy opened his yesterday, and let me tell you, he can attest to it, best party favor yet, it lasts 24 hours. UPDATE: To this moment, 2 more people have opened theirs, congratulations, and thanks for coming to the party.

I suspect a good time was had by all, and if not, at least they got some good wine and desserts out of it. Which by the way, Amy will have to post her recipe for that cheesecake thing she made because it was all the rave. I offered Kendall a piece, and she said to me, 'Mommy, I already ate dinner, I not want grilled cheese.' I suppose it might have looked like a grilled cheese sandwich, but I can assure you, did not taste like it.

Speaking of them, I think that Kendall and Ethan had a good time. They love being with their cousins. Quite a few times I spotted Kendall and Brynnie zipping up to the table to grab a chocolate covered pretzel stick. So they for sure had some sugar highs, and an extreme low, when this activity was flagged by Brynnie's mean Daddy, Uncle Tim, what a party pooper. No, 4 is not enough, it's a dessert party for crying out loud.There was mention of some games they were playing by Kendall on Sunday while driving to church. I couldn't make sense of any of them she was talking about, so I can only imagine it was games the older kids made up to boss the others around. It always feels good to have someone listen to every instruction you are giving them, and in return to receive the attention of an older and clearly much cooler and wiser cousin.

Ethan is a happy clam whenever any activity is centered around or involving his Pop. Pop is for sure his best friend. So since this party was for Pop, Ethan was in full birthday party mode. On the side, it is worth mentioning, if within 24 hours we are going to be seeing Pop, I will dangle this prospect over Ethan's head for motivation, incentive, and yes, bribary, and let me tell you it works, and I am all over that. i.e.,'Ethan, don't forget we are going to see Pop. Now you know he wouldn't like if he knew you were sitting on top of Kendall diabling her airway, get up, or I will tell him.' Instantly he is up and Kendall's face loses that blueish shade, it's so wonderful.

This is Aunt Nancy. While on the subject of looking fabulous at any age, this woman might out do Oprah, since her skinny, (60 year old), tight, I might also add, butt can rock a pair 7 jeans like it's nobody's business. Back onto the party, I noticed when she arrived that the security tag from the store she purchased her super cute blazer from was still attached to the side of it. After informing her that shop lifiting is a crime, even in today's economy, this became hilarious as she paraded around the house showing everyone. But this became even more hilarious after all the ladies had consumed their wine...you have no idea how funny family picture taking can be when the woman wearing the security tag has had 4 glasses of wine and is posing you in the most obscure sibling pics of all time as if you were The Partridge Family.
Today is my Mom's Birthday and she says she is celebrating this by doing nothing. Could you imagine taking that statement literally? How boring 50 might be. But I doubt that will be the case, 5 bucks says my Dad brings home crab cakes for dinner.

So Happy Birthday Mom and Dad. 50 never looked better.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

My Iphoner

Does your husband have one? I am warning you now, discourage it in every way possible. This new fangled technology has taken over Andy. It is his prized materiel possession, the cream of the crop, I think it may have just surpassed his giant television. gasp.

This is my undercover observation of Andy with the iphone last night. He gets home from work, loves on the kids as I finish dinner, plugs it in to charge. A few minutes later the kids are back to doing what they were doing before he arrived, and no kidding, he walks to the counter, grabs it, and then sits in a chair while looking up who knows what. The vibes the phone was sending to him were to great to resist. What in the world could possibly be on that phone that is just so fabulous? So we sit down to eat, he plugs it in, it is bath time, and he again grabs it. For what? What did he do before the iphone? Is there instructions on how to bathe a child on it? Is that the latest 'app?' And let me tell you the only reason that iphone didn't eat dinner with us is because he knows without even me having to say it, that phone is not invited. So well trained. Sometimes.
I then proceed, to of course, watch American Idol, and he disappears to his man cave to watch the games that were on, oh and Biggest Loser.

Later, I fall asleep. This morning, I am woken up by that stupid glow of the phone. Really? Did he just do that? Yes, he awoke, and went right downstairs to get that phone. I can see him through the crack in the bathroom door, standing there, playing with the phone. You have got to be kidding me? He then, thanks to his iphone, what would he do without it, realizes he is up to early, so what does he do, climbs back in bed with the eternal glow.

He is like a child with a new video game system, but wait that's right, he is 32 years old. 2 other neighbors have it. We were having a cook out, one of them was missing, but the other two sat there playing with their phones. Life, was occurring around them. What were they looking for, the best way to grill a burger, there must be an app for that. The one that was missing was in Pittsburgh, is in no way innocent because I can guarantee that as they sat on theirs here, he was on his there.

Driving in the car the other day, I warned him I would blog about this, he turns to me and proclaims, 'Everyone should have one of these,' oh yeah really, why is that? 'Because I am certain that if you were in a hostage situation and you had this phone, you could get out of it.'

Did a man with a college degree just say that? You should have an iphone in case for some reason you are held hostage? What are the chances of that really? I think that someone thinks too much about his phone. I told him to suggest an app for that to apple, see where he gets with that. Isn't it feasible to get out of any hostage situation if you have any phone on you by simply dialing 911? And what are the chances that if you were held hostage your captors would let you have a phone? And how are you going to hide that big glow screen from them?

I am also going to say that he also thought it was super cool that he could get an email from me at work while going to the bathroom. Ok people, you on board now?

He actually thinks about downloading games, 'for the kids to play,' and then proceeds to tell them, 'don't touch it, i will push it,you tell me what to push.' Lots of fun, right? I want to get in on that game.
Do I think it is cool? Um, I guess so. However, Andy takes it one step further. Much like sports, I do not like watching sports anymore because of the overload I have been exposed to, it is insane. I think I have watched more sporting events then an average person will in their lifetime, and I don't even watch them anymore. So the iphone, overload. I am over it, before I even got started.

Pretty soon there is going to be talks about iphone addictions, and then iphone anonymous, and I will sign him up, along with me attending the meeting next door, spouses of iphone addicts.

He might think I am jealous I don't have one...that is why I am blogging about. No trust me honey, until they create an app that will produce arms out of the side of the phone that will change diapers, do dishes, and fold laundry, its all yours.

Oh you know I love you, Andy.

But I have a job to do for other women out there through my blog, warn them of things that they don't see coming, until it is too late.

Warning to all you Nose Pickers...

This could happen to you.

Be Safe. Don't pick your nose.

A Public Service Announcement from Ethan.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to.

Chalkboard Art ~Aidan McCay

So we celebrated Ethan's 2nd Birthday with family on Saturday night. When telling Ethan we were having a birthday party for him, he replied, 'naaahhhhhh.' This kid truly does not like to be the center of attention. He saw the gifts come in, and that still did not deter him much. However, like with many parties, Molly and Brynn were there, and where Molly and Brynn are, happiness typically follows for Kendall & Ethan.

We visited a bit, let the kids play, and then decided to sing 'Happy Birthday.' I had made Ethan a Plex cake. Since Yo Gabba Gabba is one of his favorite shows and a Plex cake was much easier then a Wiggles Cake. Ethan recognized that it was Plex right away, and that was good enough for me, I never claimed to be a pastry chef.
So we all start singing, Ethan is all smiles, then he realizes that everyone is looking at him, immediate realization, 'They are looking at me, smiling, and singing. Mommy said this was my party...' Panic set in, and then the flush to the face of embarrassment, and then tears. Andy got him under control enough to convince him to blow out his candles, and once he was completely distracted and the song was part of history, he bounced back.

Ethan then opened all of his presents, and had us read every word of every card, he called them books. He opened the present from my sisters, and when I asked what it was he exclaimed, 'A BIG BOX!' Little did they know was that all they had to get him was this box and he would have been just so happy. It really was a Little Tikes Sand & Water Play Table for playing outside. We got Ethan a tricycle, and I wanted one similar to what I had had when I was little, that retro look, but I also wanted it to have a push handle so that I didn't have to break my back teaching him how to pedal this summer. I found a few that I liked, but didn't want to pay the price, my mom found this Radio Flyer at a second hand toy shop, with handle, and I was as happy as a pig in mud.

So E is 2. Terrible 2's at that, but nowhere near Kendall's Terrible Two level at this age, so it is tolerable.