My Iphoner

Does your husband have one? I am warning you now, discourage it in every way possible. This new fangled technology has taken over Andy. It is his prized materiel possession, the cream of the crop, I think it may have just surpassed his giant television. gasp.

This is my undercover observation of Andy with the iphone last night. He gets home from work, loves on the kids as I finish dinner, plugs it in to charge. A few minutes later the kids are back to doing what they were doing before he arrived, and no kidding, he walks to the counter, grabs it, and then sits in a chair while looking up who knows what. The vibes the phone was sending to him were to great to resist. What in the world could possibly be on that phone that is just so fabulous? So we sit down to eat, he plugs it in, it is bath time, and he again grabs it. For what? What did he do before the iphone? Is there instructions on how to bathe a child on it? Is that the latest 'app?' And let me tell you the only reason that iphone didn't eat dinner with us is because he knows without even me having to say it, that phone is not invited. So well trained. Sometimes.

I then proceed, to of course, watch American Idol, and he disappears to his man cave to watch the games that were on, oh and Biggest Loser.

Later, I fall asleep. This morning, I am woken up by that stupid glow of the phone. Really? Did he just do that? Yes, he awoke, and went right downstairs to get that phone. I can see him through the crack in the bathroom door, standing there, playing with the phone. You have got to be kidding me? He then, thanks to his iphone, what would he do without it, realizes he is up to early, so what does he do, climbs back in bed with the eternal glow.

He is like a child with a new video game system, but wait that's right, he is 32 years old. 2 other neighbors have it. We were having a cook out, one of them was missing, but the other two sat there playing with their phones. Life, was occurring around them. What were they looking for, the best way to grill a burger, there must be an app for that. The one that was missing was in Pittsburgh, is in no way innocent because I can guarantee that as they sat on theirs here, he was on his there.

Driving in the car the other day, I warned him I would blog about this, he turns to me and proclaims, 'Everyone should have one of these,' oh yeah really, why is that? 'Because I am certain that if you were in a hostage situation and you had this phone, you could get out of it.'

Did a man with a college degree just say that? You should have an iphone in case for some reason you are held hostage? What are the chances of that really? I think that someone thinks too much about his phone. I told him to suggest an app for that to apple, see where he gets with that. Isn't it feasible to get out of any hostage situation if you have any phone on you by simply dialing 911? And what are the chances that if you were held hostage your captors would let you have a phone? And how are you going to hide that big glow screen from them?

I am also going to say that he also thought it was super cool that he could get an email from me at work while going to the bathroom. Ok people, you on board now?

He actually thinks about downloading games, 'for the kids to play,' and then proceeds to tell them, 'don't touch it, i will push it,you tell me what to push.' Lots of fun, right? I want to get in on that game.

Do I think it is cool? Um, I guess so. However, Andy takes it one step further. Much like sports, I do not like watching sports anymore because of the overload I have been exposed to, it is insane. I think I have watched more sporting events then an average person will in their lifetime, and I don't even watch them anymore. So the iphone, overload. I am over it, before I even got started.

Pretty soon there is going to be talks about iphone addictions, and then iphone anonymous, and I will sign him up, along with me attending the meeting next door, spouses of iphone addicts.

He might think I am jealous I don't have one...that is why I am blogging about. No trust me honey, until they create an app that will produce arms out of the side of the phone that will change diapers, do dishes, and fold laundry, its all yours.

Oh you know I love you, Andy.

But I have a job to do for other women out there through my blog, warn them of things that they don't see coming, until it is too late.