Thursday, August 26, 2010


And the boy.

This one is a bit tricky because Ethan has quickly become the in house comedian. So there are lots of fine lines. Like when is it name calling and teasing as opposed to just being silly? When is it lying and not telling the truth or just being goofy to make me laugh? And do I tell him to stop when it is annoying me, but clearly everyone else thinks he is hilarious? I have said it before this child is going to be the one setting the chickens free in the high school as a senior prank. This is the child I will sit and listen about at parent/teacher conferences as the boy who is intelligent, but needs to stay focused and apply himself because under arm fart noises will get him nowhere in life.

Three year old humor is a hard one because it consists mostly of, 'potty talk,' and repetitiveness, because if they laugh at it once, sure,they will laugh it on the 49th time also.

Even when he is fighting back with his sister he attempts to be funny. Example,'Dendall I not like you right now because your datitude smells like Baby Jacob's poopy diaper! Ha Ha, you so mean you smell like poopy diapers!' You know you smiled. But I am the mother, and even though Kendall's attitude, does in fact stink, we don't use potty talk. See that fine line?

Right now he refers to Andy and I as Stinky Pete when we ask him to do something. This is a character from Toy Story 2 if you live in a cave. This character got his name because he lives in his store packaging and he farts in it. Very funny to E. So essentially he is referring to us as a fart box. 'E will you come and take your clothes to the laundry mountain?' 'Ok Stinky Pete.'

He also thinks it is just hilarious to do this:
'Hey Mommy!'
'What E?'
And he will laugh incessantly and do it over and over again.
He is getting a little more creative now:
'Hey Mommy, Stanley pooped on the floor!'
'What!?!?! Where!?!?!'
Again this is lying, not telling the truth; fine line.

Or he will say;
'Oh No Mommy, you have something on your behind, I'll get it!'
And then he swats my behind, while sceaming, 'HaHa, Gotcha!

Everything is also 'something-head.' Now he has gotten that he cannot say, Poopyhead or Farthead, after a few encounters with the wooden spoon. Now he resorts to other names, like, Sillyhead, or IceCreamhead. They aren't exactly mean, but they are name calling, but they can be funny. It's a mess of confusion. 'E please pass me the salt.' 'Ok Butterhead.' He acts like he is going to say butt, starting out nice and slow, and then adder the -erhead, real fast when I am ready to say something. And now that is just so funny to Kendall.

Ethan will also try some things out that others say that he thinks are funny. I am not going to mention any names as to implicate someone, however, Ethan recently has been trying out the word 'Weirdo.' And I don't like that. You can call someone a sillyhead, but not a weirdo. I am the mom, these are my rules. So he calls Kendall a weirdo, and I say, 'E, I do not like that word, you don't call people that.' To which he says, 'Daddy says that.' To which I say, well it is not nice and I will tell Daddy that too, it is not nice to say that.' And I get back, 'Yeah, Daddy is a weirdo for saying that.' E!!!!!

E is also a story teller and can think of excuses on the drop of a dime. One day I am cleaning up his room after he had been in there and see a wet spot on the floor. 'Uh, Ethan, you want to tell me who peed on your floor?' To which he replies, 'Uh, not me.' Kendall chimes in, 'Not me neither!' I ask, 'then who did?' And Ethan replies, 'Baby Jacob!' I say, 'Ethan Baby Jacob has been in my room all morning, if I find out you are lying, you are going to be on punishment.' And I get a sweet, 'Ok Mommy.' I go on, assuming that he is riddled with guilt for lying, and will tell me soon enough, this is what Kendall does. So then I find the wet clothes. 'Uh E, if you didn't do it why are your pajamas and undies all wet here on the floor?' Without even missing a beat, 'Well when Baby Jacob was peeing I held them out there to block his pee!' What in the world? Again, 'that is impossible Ethan, Baby Jacob is in my room, if you are lying, you are in even more trouble.' And he replies, 'well Mommy his pee shoots real far!' So I just later read him a story about the Bernstein Bears and lying because they have a story about every life lesson, and tell him that I know he was lying and I am not happy and there is going to be punishment. He says, 'I sorry Mommyhead.'

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