People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. ~Leo J. Burke

Sleep while being pregnant is like nothing else. You can’t even control it. It is borderline narcolepsy, most especially the first trimester. You will just be sitting there watching a show, a movie, reading a book, even talking, and the next thing you know you are waking up in the middle of the night having to pee. What was that all about? It’s as if there is a little alarm that goes off in your uterus which sends a message to the brain and then you just shut off. There is no warning.

When I am pregnant, I totally get hibernation. The need to just sleep like it’s your job for basic survival. This past week I have been falling asleep when the kids fall asleep, and waking up when they get up. This is close to 12 hours people. I am not sure what Andy’s excuse it, but who, as an adult woman with children does this, if they are not pregnant? If you do, I would like to see your bathrooms, they are messy, and you know it. You better believe this needs to be rectified because a newborn does not sleep. If I continue to sleep for 12 hours a night throughout my pregnancy, I will die when the child comes, just roll over and die from sleep deprivation shock.

Don’t get me wrong, it is not a straight through sleep. I get up to pee at least 4 times. That or someone will bump their head on a wall or be out of their blankets, yelling that they are cold, which leads to me having to pee simply because I moved. This pee thing is outrageous. I think I drink enough to warrant maybe 5 or 6 bathroom stops during the day. Now the 10-15 more stops that I am averaging is just not right. And I am here to tell you that the other day Kendall brought a book to me while I was peeing that had to be read right then and there, so I sat there and read it, and I was like a leaky faucet throughout the entire book. At one point I turned to her and asked her to go and get a wrench.

The only one that truly adores this whole lengthy sleeping thing is Stanley. Things just don’t get done like they should when I am in a sleep induced coma, but he could care less. He will curl up in the blankets of my bed dreaming of trapping that nasty cat Lily in the corner and smacking some sense into her, snoring right along with me. It must be the short legs, or some pregnancy sympathy, but this dog is exhausted at the end of the day.
He in fact is taking his mid morning nap next to me as I type this, and keeps eyeing me as if he is saying, ‘come on you know you want to.’

When I was pregnant with Kendall I think I slept a lot more then this one. I would come home from work and crash on the couch until Andy got home, eat, and then go back to bed, and on Saturday mornings, forget about it, I don’t think we saw them. With Ethan it was a little different, I had Kendall to care for when I came home from work, I am sure I went to sleep when she did, but that child did not like to sleep, if she slept 6 to 7 hours a night I was happy. Perhaps that is why Ethan loves sleep so much, he had no restful sleep in the womb, and has to make up for it now. I do remember however falling asleep at my desk at work with both pregnancies because if I didn’t I would surely pull over on the side of the road on the way home and have to take a nap. There were a few of us pregnant in that place at different times, and each of us fell asleep so hard that we drooled on our blotters. So much for helping the children in need, but come on, what is 20 minutes? The rest of us that shared an office, would just whisper to each other softly so as not to disrupt the sleeping pregnant beast. So with this one, I need to be alert during the day, Kendall does not nap anymore, yeah big surprise, and so I am Mom on Duty for 12 hours, rest only comes at night. If the children wake up earlier then 8 a.m. my day is done, the rest was not complete and I stare lustfully all day long at blankets, pillows, beds, couches. Even the premade beds in department stores tempt me. Don’t they look just so comfy, all fluffy, with the 75 pillows just sitting there waiting for you to curl in? I mean who would really care if I just tested it out for 15 minutes?

Don’t get me wrong, there are some days while Ethan is napping that I put on a Barbie movie for Kendall that she just loves and curl up next to her and nap. Anyone might nap though, in that situation. Have you seen those movies? They are for sure right up her alley, but if I watch more then 15 minutes my eyes start to bleed. Kendall loves them; I mean loves them so much she reenacts them for the remainder of the day. Oh Barbie. I will admit though that I played Barbie’s right up into my tween years, and I loved them. Have you seen the new camper they have out this year? I just might start playing again.

So if you need to catch up on some sleep, go ahead and get pregnant and then it is forced. Or just take a day off, whatever floats your boat. Regardless, I will see you in dreamland.