Thursday, May 1, 2008

Tantrums R' Us


Nothing makes me more tense then hearing my child whine and/or cry for no good reason.

Or what i deem is, no good reason. Waking up from a nap and crying bc your pillow is vertical instead of horizontal is, no good reason.

Yesterday at Target we experienced another episode quite like this one bc she wanted to be in the cart not out, and then not in the cart but walking, not walking but holding on to the side.And it spirals downward from there.

Some would say, 'well Melissa, don't give her an option, you tell her she is in the cart.' or others might say, 'this is her only way of communicating right now, you need to get down on her level.'


Is there a right way with a two year old?

Oh and i love this one: if your child tantrums in the store you simply desert your cart and leave. Ok. and who's being punished then? Because it wasn't Ethan who said, 'Hey you know Mommy, I am in real need of some diapers, could we go to Target and pick some up?' And it certainly wasn't Kendall who opened the fridge saw we were out of milk and decided we need to go to the store get some since she really needs a glass of milk.As they are acting out in the store am I supposed to say,'Hey, you better knock that off or Mommy isn't going to get her tampons because we are going to leave!!' Because I am sure that is a real threat to them. If I were to leave the store in the midst of tantrums it would be just what they wanted because no child enjoys being restrained in a cart, or forced to walk aisle upon aisle to stock up on 'grown up stuff,' because my children have no idea that toys could actually come home with us from the store. They still think that they are just there to look at, and that the people who must live at this store play with them. (so I may have the upper hand with that one) So bottom line, I need these things that are at the store, and I am not leaving to try and come back later. Have you tried to 'come back later' with two toddlers. By the time you get home you have had it.

And I have since learned that raising my voice does not work on anyone in my house but the cat, Lily. Both Ethan and Kendall, are much like their father and immune voices being raised. They all look at me as if I am speaking in a normal tone with no urgency or threat involved. That should work out really well when they are teens.

And so as we are checking out after moving at warp speed around Target, the cashier is saying, 'oh my...oh my goodness, well someone isn't happy, oh wow...' Over and over. And my inner voice is just about ready to scream out at her, 'hey lady, just do your job and check me out !' And then of course she would have thought or said, 'hmm...I wonder where they get it from?' But her comments were actually more annoying then the shrieking coming from my cart. She might as well been wearing a sticker that said, I don't have any kids.

So I have found when nothing else works, ignorance is the best medicine for my nerves. I just let the tantrum happen sometimes and in the end sometimes that is more conducive then putting them in time out over and over again.

There have been more humorous moments then negative in the day this week and for that I am grateful. Kendall wore pull ups this week because she has begun to become a little more "aware" of what is going on. Not only that she wants these princess dolls for being a good girl and going on the potty. The humorous part about this is not that she actually goes in the pull ups more than on the potty, she calls her pull ups, hula hoops. To her it must have sounded like hula hoops when I told her she had on her pull ups, and so she is telling everyone she is wearing, 'hula hoops.'

Kendall also has a doll house that she plays with a lot, so of course Ethan is going to be interested in anything her sister puts so much time and effort into. However, Ethan is only interested in playing with the little toilet it comes with. So as Kendall sits and plays with the house, Ethan can always be found with the potty in his hands.

And lastly, Kendall has a cabbage patch at my mom's that can come in the bath. She has named this doll Nancy. But Kendall thinks that Nancy's expression is quite odd, and she said to me, 'Mommy, Nancy smiles like this.' It is hilarious because it looks just like a cabbage patch smile. So upon request when she is asked how Nancy the doll smiles, she gives us this...

Now I am off to hunt down someone who is whining about something ridiculous.
Have a great weekend.


annasmommy said...

i love reading your blog! Anna is not yet a year old and we are already experiencing these lovely tantrums...especially at Target. Why doesn't she share her mother's love for a good Target run? Don't worry...i ignore the screams as well. now, if only all the other adults would ignore them with me...

happy friday!

Katie said...

Hey Mel - This is totally random, but I don't have your email address. Do you have Heather's email address? I just got her invitation TODAY. Apparently it got lost in the mail for two months. Thanks for your help;)