Thursday, March 5, 2009

I want to be just like Daddy.


Putting Ethan down for his nap, in runs Kendall, 'I have to go pee pee, quick, quick!' She is dancing, legs crossed, hopping, hands on crotch in that infamous I have to pee position, she falls over losing balance. 'Help I can't get these jeans off!' This is the problem; Kendall waits until the pee is about to come exploding out before she decides to go to the pot. So I with one hand, get the jeans unbuttoned, pull the pants down to her knees, and say, 'Run, quick!' I hear in response a few minutes later, 'I made it, wow, I really filled this up!' Well I guess so you haven't gone since you awoke this morning and have drank juice like you ran a marathon and were dying of thirst.

I put Ethan down, walk into my room, smell immediately registering. I look down, pile of poop. Like an animal, she has pooped on the floor. I call for her and see a rustle on my bed. I pick up the pile, with a wipe of course, flush it, and just casually walk over to her waiting to see if she will fess up. She has no jeans or panties on and is on my fresh sheets, bare butt. Terrific. I lift her up, and say, 'well since you went pee pee, we should just get your jeans and panties back on.' She replies in a sickly sweet tone, 'ok, Mommy.' I stand her up see the streaks left behind and ask 'Oh my Kendall, what is this on the sheets, did someone have an accident?' And she looks at me, eyes wide and innocent and says, 'Yeah Mommy, I think that Daddy pooped last night in bed,'; and then proceeds to look down at it with a look of sympathy for her poor Daddy who pooped in the bed. I ask, 'Oh really?' And she says, 'I sink so,' puppy dog eyes and all. I say to her, 'Well Kendall I don't think that Daddy would poop in our bed, he is a big person and poops on the potty now.' She then says, now being excited like she has solved the puzzle, 'I bet it was E Mommy, he poops all the time.' I then say, 'well Ethan wears a diaper Kendall, so I don't think it was him, I wonder who it could have been.' She proceeds in the fibbing now in way to deep and replies, repeating me, 'I wonder who it was.' I then turn to her and ask if her nose is starting to grow. She grabs at it frantically. I ask her, 'Why would your nose be growing?' And then there is a breakdown. Instant sobbing, 'I so sorry Mommy, it came so fast, racing out of me! I couldn't catch it, so I left it on the floor.' We go over the speech. 'Kendall you should not be waiting until you can hardly hold it to race to the potty to go poopy. You need to get to the potty when you first feel you have to go...' She looks at me, still visibly upset and says, 'Daddy always races to go poopy when he gets home from work, and he makes it, I want to make it like Daddy.' I then tell her, well Daddy is really talented. When he was little like you, he couldn't hold it for a very long time.' And she says, 'Well when I get bigger like Daddy, I want to be able to hold it a long time.' I say,' fine, but until then, you need to get to the potty right away, otherwise you will never learn this fine talent.'

Just what we want to be able to do when we grow up. Daddy is incredible.

1 comment:

Cherie said...

This is hilarious! I can't stop laughing... :)