Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Our Fearless Leader Child

What makes a person have zero to no fear? And if they don't have it are they deemed courageous? Because sometimes having no fear can lead to some pretty stupid mistakes. I wouldn't call someone who jumped in a pond filled with alligators courageous.

Kendall possesses little to no fear, and sometimes it makes me a little worried. Like will more fear, at some point, set in? I don't want her in a pond with alligators. Kendall is only afraid of the lawn mower. Maybe she has weird dreams about lawn mowers, or maybe if there is a past life she was a landscaper that got run over by a mower? I don't believe in past lives, so that isn't really possible, but oh wouldn't that be just terrible to be run over by a lawn mower? Whatever makes her fearful of them I am glad, because it isn't like she will ever have to mow the lawn, so she can be scared all she wants. She has a brother. Blessed.

Now Kendall loves amusement parks, carnivals, things with rides, safe looking or not so safe looking. She loves to ride her bike really fast.She likes to jump off diving boards and go down water slides head first. And I will tell you what, she gets mad if you tell her she is too little to do something, the reaction is pure fury. HOW DARE YOU!?!?' She has to climb to the highest point in a playground. She likes to be around animals, large and small. She also likes to you know, just hold a giant worm. Oh wait, she is afraid of those giant cicada killers we have going on right now. That exterminator that did the neighborhood did a real bang up job since they still circle the children's heads when they ride their bikes by. Those things give me the creeps they are all big and bright and dig these holes, really they are just gross. So can you blame her from being scared? I think I saw the exterminator running after spraying a hole.

I experienced the full realm of Kendall's fearlessness at this po dunk carnival we were at. I was extremely skeptical of all the rides, but it was the second night of the event, and no one had died yet, so if we stay on the kiddie rides the worst that can happen is someone loses a chunk of hair or a finger. I don't know. So Kendall goes on a few of the children's rides. Why is it that at carnivals the rides go at warp speed? Is it just me? She then goes down a giant slide with Andy that she wanted to do by herself. She made these terrible scared faces when going down because of the hills and bumps. When she got off I asked her if that had scared her, she was already in movement to the next ride and shouted over her shoulder, 'Nope.'

The next ride. The Ferris Wheel. She wanted to try out the Ferris Wheel, ran right up into line, she probably would have gotten on alone. Now in the past I have never really been nervous on amusement rides. My adrenaline went up sure. I would get a little bit of butterflies right before flying down a hill, or when someone was dropping you and your friends out of the sky attached to each other and a bungee in a flying position to swing back and forth. But now I am all out nervous. I think it is because I have life to sustain and live for, I am not done with these kids. Yet once in awhile, I am clearly not nervous enough to not do it, like I don't know, say my husband. And so I agree to this ride, someone has to. I climbed into that seat with Kendall and her friend Sarah. I sat right in the middle of them. Part of me expected them to scream in fear when we reached the top for our first time up and around, and then that would be the end of the ride, we can get off and on with our lives.

Oh, no, no no. They were screaming with delight as I gripped the rails trying not to display my fears, yet even if I had, I don't think it would have phased them. The second time around Kendall felt the seat rock a bit as Ferris Wheel seats do, and she yells out, 'hey this thing rocks back and forth like a rocking chair, let's do it!' Uh yeah, I put a stop to that and let her know that we aren't supposed to rock the chairs we will have to get off if we do. And you aren't supposed to rock the chairs, alright? I know amusement ride rules. So then we go around the next time and she says, 'I wish I could fly.' I mean who doesn't wish they could fly? O.k., people that are fearful.

Kendall is the person on the roller coaster with her hands in the air. She even did it on the kiddie roller coaster at this place where the thing whips around turns and is all jerky. The little boy who rode with her, God Bless him, he must have gotten smacked in the head 56 times.

Then we move on. She did the Ferris Wheel I guess that qualified her for big people rides. Sarah's cousin who is with us she is about 12 years old comes and asks me, 'can Kendall ride the Scrambler with me?' She bypasses her brother, all other adults we are with, and picks the three year old to ride this ride with her. Yeah, Kendall is going to be that kid. The 'go to' person when you want to do something daring and/or mischievous,she will be the ally. Because certainly if Kendall does it, and she does it with you, your punishment won't be as bad, you won't die alone, and you know she is going to be all in without a second thought, its fun. I had those friends. Of course I was typically the person in search of an ally. Oh the trouble we would cause. Another time, that might require a book, not just a blog, oh the adolescent years.

I have her stand in line. Surely this gentleman running the ride, taking the tickets, would take out that little pole and measure the little children about to board this ride. And this carney lets them through. Two three year old children, a smidgen over 3 feet, onto this ride, I say 2 because well Sarah just followed all the kids, no idea to what is awaiting her. Her mother and I start to get nervous for our little baklavas, the men, the fathers, just say, 'what's the worst that could happen?' I don't know, brain damage, flying off the ride when whipping around the corner since there is no safety harnesses to name a few. But I let her on. I see her sit in the middle, her and Sarah's tushes sitting between the two older kids in the group. The door locking them in shuts, and I can't even see their faces, just these ponytails, I tell her to look up, she is all smiles. At the completion of the ride I hear what it was like from the older kids before I see Kendall. 'Sarah and Kendall kept bumping their heads into each other, we couldn't stop it.' I expect the worst, tears, blood, bruises, concussions. Around the corner comes my daughter, laughing. I ask her how it was, 'Me and Sarie kept slamming our heads together, it went so fast,' and she is just laughing. Brain Damage, for sure. I needed to google symptoms.

She then looks to the ride beyond the Scrambler, this death machine that locks you into this box that rocks and flips, and goes around and around like a Ferris Wheel, only I am certain vomit is involved. She points, and before the words even come out of her mouth, I grab the pointed finger place it back at her side and tell her that Mama wants her to live to see 4. We go onto the flying elephants which I am sure is equivalent to watching Barney all day when you are used to big kid shows like Maggie and the Ferocious Beast. Life just isn't fair.

I somewhat admire Kendall's fearlessness. It allows her to experience things she otherwise wouldn't. It will allow her to dream bigger. I also admire her intelligence. I know at some point it will counter balance the fearlessness and we all will live happily ever after. Until then, can I get a lawn mower on stand by to drive by the next time she wants to climb a tree to the tippity top? That should stop that idea before it even gets started and she will be back safe in my arms, where she belongs.

1 comment:

Michelle said...

What a cutie! Thanks for your kind words on my blog.