Sunday, August 2, 2009

Shawnee Style, Part II



So as I was blogging about how many children we adults took on our vacation with us, a thought occurred to me. The poor children who had to have 6, and at one time 8, adults with them on vacation. 4 Mom's reigning and 4 Dad's and their firm reprimands. Who in the world would want that?

Not that these children are in anyway old enough to survive on their own, but just the same, it can be a bit overwhelming. And not that there was a lot of discipline thrown around either, for the most part, these kids were really well behaved. I mean I think we escaped potential disaster. Preschoolers, a lot of them, together for a week, this can be compared to a nuclear bomb. You know there is the potential out there for disaster, and you just hope and pray that mercy is shown. We definitely got out by the skin of our teeth. There was only the occasional push and shove. 'You're not my best friend,' like I said was a little over used, but it was also easily curtailed. There was also a rule instituted that there would be no tattle telling unless there was blood. I even did my part, and after I swiftly came in to rescue this child or that, that was pushing or shoving, or having a toy snagged from them. I would interve with a quick word of advice, 'Listen, you don't do this again, and I won't tell your Mom.'

So what did we adults do to keep the sanity? There was golf played. My husband, in particular, partook in a lot of golf. I mean, I suppose if I was really good at something, I too would want to spend a lot of time doing that activity. But there is not an activity out there that I have found that would occupy 4-5 hours with no interruption. That is virtually impossible. Most especially with the prospect of more children lingering out there. The 20-30 minutes I now have is going to be taken away from me completely. It's frightening. Why do we do it? Oh that's right, because we have been blessed with these lives to mold and shape, ok, ok.

At one point when we were having a conference about his golf schedule for the week, and I remarked, snottily, 'All I want is a full day as a family day.' I mean seriously, we were on vacation for a week, that is the potential for 168 hours of family time. I think taking away merely 20 hours total for golf from that is a reasonable request. But not for me on that day. Oh we women can be so selfish sometimes, right? 'I am the queen of this castle, now do as I say!' I think what I really wanted him to say was, 'My dear, beautiful, intelligent, wife, what are your plans for this week? Could you please, let me know when you would like for me to play golf, if at all, and so then on the other times I can be at your beck and call?' So then I thought about my snotty remark, and softened, and remembered that this too is his vacation, and he loves golf. And really, he was scheduling golf early morning and over nap time, so the potential for actual quality family time would not really occur during those hours. And he works hard, and he is stressed, he should have this time. So we are going on with the conversation, and just as I am about to say, 'You're right, babe, golf away, there is plenty of time for us to do stuff together, I am being silly,' he turns and says to me, 'I don't know babe, all I want to do is play golf, that's all, it's a vacation.' As he mimics my previous tone. Oh no he didn't. Fool, I tell you. Almost 8 years of marriage...

Then my dear and wonderful friend Trista says, 'I saw an ad for the spa in the activity guide, I want to get a massage.' Now that, that was the best idea I have heard in a long time. All.over.it. So I quickly convince my husband that this is so very much needed for my survival. We call the spa to see what is available. Only day that had two times near each other was Wednesday. That was the day that Tucker and Cherie were coming with the Hibblets. Now what do we do? I mean we can't very well go to the spa and leave Cherie there with the guys and all the kids. So we call her and facebook her: Did she want to go to the spa? Uh yeah. Immediate response. There was not even time for consideration. I think at some point when you are a mom anything that gives you a break, a moment of clarity, you are all over. I could have said to her, 'Hey Cherie, want to go and check out the sewage plant with just us girls,' and I would have gotten the same reaction. Watch poop alone for 2 hours with real live lady friends or change poopy diapers and run around after 12 kids at the pool for 2 hours? 12 kids? You know you would watch poop churn for 2 hours too.

Becky and Cherie were up for the pedis. Trista and I got swedish massages and hydrotherapy. My massage was an hour, Trista's was 90 minutes, hey big spender. I interrupt to say that there are some things in life worth spending some money for. Like a house, good coffee, flip flops, electricity, and a trip to a spa for a massage. There are more on those list, but these of course, are the top. All of us ladies, left the men and the children and head off to our afternoon at the spa. We are walking out the door and realize that we do not of keys to a vehicle. Becky volunteers to get hers. We begin walking to the car again and realize that Becky's car should not have been the top pick since she has two bigger car seats, not just boosters. We think for a split second about going in and getting someone else's keys. Reality then hits us. If someone goes back in children will cry, hang on legs, men will ask where the peanut butter is to make the sandwiches, someone will have to go pee pee, and this is not conducive to leaving for a spa appointment. Trista and I decide that we will sit in the car seats. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
What in the world is Hydrotherapy? Glad you asked. Here is the description of what enticed Trista and I to get this:

Steam & Hydro Capsule:
While you lie on our pre-warmed wet table, steam will envelop your body to stimulate your pores and release any impurities. As the steam and showers invigorate your skin, enjoy a scalp and facial massage.

Excuse me what did you say? Steam enveloping my body and a scalp and facial massage? No need to say anything more. What did I do to deserve this? Well I watched Jake and Trista's children while they played golf. As a reward for schlepping through the mud during a scavenger hunt and then bathing, feeding, and getting them down for naps they offered to treat me to a Hydro Capsule Experience. Calling all babysitters, this is where it's at! Ok, Ok, so they are good friends, and I am a pretty great sitter, but no one can embark in Hydro Therapy alone. You have to have a comparison.

Basically a Hydro Capsule resembled an upscale tanning bed with a hole at the head with a pillow, so your head sticks out and lies upon the pillow. It then has the lid close on you and all these showers are turned on and just go to town spraying your entire body while you get a massage on your head and face.

I could have stayed in there all day long.

We just about wanted to set up camp and send a telegraph to the boys that we would see them on Saturday. But all good things come to an end, and we tore ourselves away and crammed back into the car seats. Yeah, really good idea at the time of escape, not so good idea after a massage.

However, the benefits were that I was completely relaxed, smelled of wonderful oils, and in complete envy of women who go to a spa regularly, without having to be on vacation or trekking through a forest digging up giant earthworms and teaching children how to pee in the woods.
Examination of a giant worm.


A natural. This child was self-taught on the great art of peeing outside. Protege, clearly.

Other then many more children centered activities, after we wrestled children to sleep at night, we adults played games, sipped beverages, talked about everything important and unimportant, snuck away to read, smoked cigars, ok so I didn't smoke cigars, but Jake did, and sat and enjoyed.

Of course a good time was had, clearly by all, as we were leaving Gabby broke down in tears that we were leaving.

Some of my favorite pics of the week...

What to do on a rainy day? You take children who haven't napped, Bowling.







The epitome of Ian.

Girl Soup. The little ladies taking a bath in the Dunk Tank, er bath tub.

In the infamous 'inside pool.' Look a Hibblet!

Pic from Crazy Hair Day.

Last Night, cleaning up dinner, getting ready to go out for ice cream, Gabby was going to throw that away in the trash, apparently got side tracked. No, ice cream for Gabby.

Sweet Dreams.

But she sure did get some ice cream! Jules, 'sharing,' Kendall's leftovers. She was spooning it in so fast when she thought no one was looking. Caught.

THE END.






1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i want your daughters panties, it would be a pleasure to have my hand inside them fingerfucking her then pull them off and let her watch me comein them